If Wishes Were Miracles
by sadlyenough
Summary: Mac dreams, Harm is early and they both lie to people they love. Plus there is a new face at JAG
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
  
  
If Wishes Were Miracles  
  
"... Is that a request?" She asked quietly. *He walked into that one* she thought. Harm starred at her, not blinking. He then looked up overhead and said:  
  
"You know they once wrote "Eternity" in lights on the bridge on New Years Eve." His heart was pounding, but he didn't miss a beat. Mac didn't miss hers either.  
  
"Is that how long we're going to wait?" She was beyond serious. Standing there, looking at her pilot, she let hope fill her.  
  
" Too many complications." Harm dashed her hope, yet she tried again.  
  
"Harm we're not in Washington anymore, we're not even on the same continent." She half begged. She put herself, and her heart on the line. Why was he so damn stubborn?  
  
"That doesn't change who we are." He replied, his eyes searching hers. He knew what she wanted him to say, he knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. Not yet.  
  
"Most men would disagree with you!" *Damnit Harm, let go of this game, look at me, I'm here, with you, giving you the best opening I can*  
  
"I know, I disagree with me some times too." He looked down at his feet. He was breaking her. There was a second of silence, and then she spoke in a whisper. Her eyes were glistening with the beginning of tears.  
  
"You're only this way with me aren't you?" It was more of a statement then a question. She was crumbling inside, but stood strong.  
  
"Yeah." He said simply. He could give her that.  
  
"I guess I should be flattered." She let out a small laugh.  
  
"You should be Sarah." Harm didn't move. He knew that was it. Mac tuned her head. He had called her Sarah. She was done for. Her heart was pulling away from the pain, and she let it. She looked back at Harm. His expression was the same.  
  
It killed him, but that was all he could say. Mac broke away from the gaze and tuned her back. The two spent the rest of the ferry ride in silence. It docked and Mac walked off without a word. Harm stood watching. His heart was screaming at him to go after her. His had told him not to. Suddenly he realized that was his chance. That was it. Mac had put herself on the line and he shot her down. Why? "Damnit Rabb!" he cursed himself. He walked off the boat with a new objective.  
  
Mac stood at the end of the dock. How could he have done that? That was her last time reaching out. She could give her heart, or what was left of it, to Mic. She couldn't wait for Harm. She couldn't wait all eternity. A solitary tear slide down her cheek. At least she had tried.  
  
Harm saw her by the edge of the dock. He walked briskly toward her. "Now or never Rabb." He got to her, stopped, grabbed her arm and turned her around. Mac was in shock. What was he doing? *Sorry flyboy, but I'm done* She thought. His hands were on both her arms and he looked directly into her soulful eyes. He couldn't speak, so he acted. He bent down abruptly and pulled her into a kiss. One she accepted right away, though in shock. He kissed her the way he always should have and always wanted to. This would change everything, but at that moment he didn't care. Mac sighed with contentment. He broke from her lips and whipped away a tear from her eye with his thumb.  
  
"I was so afraid you wouldn't come after me." She whispered.  
  
"Me too." He replied with his best flyboy grin.  
  
  
  
She rolled over and covered her eyes with her hands. The sun was starring at her, but all she wanted to do was go back to that dream. She finally sat up and looked at her left hand. There, the diamond flashed brilliantly in the sun, as though mocking her. "A dream." She sighed. "Again."  
  
"Did you say something luv?" Came a voice from the bathroom.  
  
"No," she called back. *I'm here, in this world. I'm engaged to Mic, in this world Harm did not come after me* She put her feet on the floor and bent her head into her hands. "Why am I dreaming of Harm while I sleep next to Mic?" She asked herself in a whisper. Every night was the same. The dreams came and made her wish they would never leave. She stood from her bed and went to the closet. Se pulled her Lieutenant Colonel uniform out and began to dress for work. Mic walked out of the bathroom, came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
"G'morning Sarah." He said into he ear as he kissed her cheek.  
  
"You too." She smiled back.  
  
"Breakfast?" He asked.  
  
"Nope, don't have time." She replied slipping out of his embrace and entering the bathroom. "I have court early this morning. I need to prepare." She called from the bathroom as she lined her eyes with charcoal pencil. *Why am I lying to him?* She didn't have any court cases this week. A little voice in her head shouted at her *I'll tell you why, because you want to be at the office as soon as possible. You can't go another second without seeing HIM.* The voice taunted her. She shook her head. Finished preparing for work, she entered the living room and joined Mic who handed her a cup of coffee, her keys and a kiss.  
  
"Have a good day then!" He smiled. He obviously had no idea what sort of conversation was going on in her head.  
  
"You too." She smiled. And with that was out the door and on her way to Harm, WORK. "Damnit" She said as the corvette started.  
  
Mac waved at the security guard as she passed the entrance to JAG headquarters. She pulled her vette into her parking space. She noted that Harm's Lexus SUV was already sitting, cold, in his space. She was surprised, but she smiled to herself. She wouldn't have to wait much longer to see him. She mentally smacked herself. "Grow up MacKenzie." She ordered. With a glance at her engagement ring, she entered the building and stood waiting for the familiar ding of the elevator.  
  
He sat in silence starring at his dimly lit desk. There were papers scattered about and crumpled papers lined the wastebasket. He threw his hands up in surrender. "It's too damn early to think." He said to himself. He had thought that an early start that day would be a good change of pace. He was gravely mistaken. Outside his door the bullpen was buzzing with early morning preparations. Lt. Simms bounced about putting things in order while Tiner followed her. Harm managed a smile before bringing his hands to massage his head. "I think I'm getting old. " He grumbled.  
  
"Think?" Came a chirped response. His eyes looked up and found his partner standing in the doorway with an amused smile on her face. He smirked at her comment.  
  
"Good one Mac." he said as she unbuttoned her cover.  
  
"Morning."  
  
"Good morning, Mac." Suddenly the light shown into his office and his problems from before evaporated; she was there. He beamed up at her.  
  
"What?" she asked. As hard as she tried she could not keep her blood from racing through her veins. That smile, those eyes.  
  
"Aren't you going to make some kind of remark about me being here so early?" He stood from his desk and walked past her through his door. She unconsciously followed him and thus began their morning routine. No thoughts went to it. They paused at her office so she could drop off her briefcase and carried on to the break room.  
  
"I don't have to, you just did it for me." She replied mockingly. Harm laughed at this. They entered an empty break room.  
  
Harm poured the coffee while Mac set out the sugar and cream. Without even thinking, each took a cup of the steaming liquid fixed it and handed it to the other.  
  
"Do you do that every morning?" The question interrupted their comfortable silence.  
  
"What Lieutenant?" Mac asked, completely unaware of what he spoke of.  
  
"Fix each others coffee." Bud finished as he set a container into the refrigerator. Harm and Mac looked at each other, and then the coffee in their hands, and back at Bud.  
  
"Apparently." Harm answered. Personally, he had never noticed, but as soon as Bud had called it to attention, he seemed to recall many similar mornings. Mac sipped her drink in deep contemplation. How had this happened? She smiled inwardly. She thought it a personal success to be so close and comfortable with Harmon Rabb. Few people were able to accomplish such a feet. Bud gave them knowing smiles and departed. "Sir, Ma'am."  
  
The two Senior Officers heard the office become suddenly quiet. Shortly there after they heard a gruff "At Ease." They eyed each other and asked an unspoken question. *Good or bad mood? * Their eyes danced at each other. The Admiral entered the break room and found the two lawyers with amused looks on their faces. He didn't ask. He rarely did. In his opinion, he probably didn't want to know.  
  
"Colonel, Commander." He spoke a slow greeting.  
  
"Morning, Sir." They said simultaneously.  
  
"When you've finished here, I'd like to see the two of you in my office." he said this as he poured his coffee and left the room.  
  
"Yes Sir." They called after him. Morning flirtations ended, and Harm and Mac followed the Admiral to his office shortly there after.  
  
The two officers sat in front of AJ's desk as they waited for him to finish signing papers for Tiner.  
  
"Straight to the point." He said after Tiner had closed the door behind him. "I don't have any new cases for you this morning," he paused. "Oddly strange week if you ask me." He continued, commenting on the slow going workweek.  
  
"Yes, Sir." Harm agreed while Mac nodded.  
  
"I called you here to tell you of a officer joining the ranks here at JAG tomorrow." Mac and Harm exchanged looks.  
  
"Are we understaffed, Sir?"  
  
"No!" AJ stated, "however, the SecNav believes the addition will benefit all. Commander Tessa Ellis will be joining us bright and early tomorrow morning at 0800 hours." The Admiral sat back in his chair. "I'm sure you two will do your best to make her feel comfortable within our midst."  
  
"Do our best Sir." Harm replied dutifully.  
  
"Permission to speak freely Sir?" Mac asked, eyebrows slightly raised.  
  
"Granted." He was curious about her upcoming comment.  
  
"Do you have any idea if the new Commander is anything like Lt. Singer?" Mac bluntly asked. Her opinion of Lt. Lauren Singer was not hidden, in fact, most agreed with her. The Admiral smirked while Harm stifled his response with a cough.  
  
"I sure as hell hope not Colonel!" AJ answered, making his feelings clear as well. The three shared knowing looks. "That'll be all. Dismissed!" He ordered shortly after.  
  
"Aye, aye Sir." They replied together. They walked out of the Admirals office in silence. They reached Harm's office before Mac Spoke her mind.  
  
"Harm?" Her eyes were suddenly honest and unprotected. He saw this right away and lightly pushed her inside, closing the door behind them.  
  
"Yeah?" He asked, matching her gaze.  
  
"Will this change us?"  
  
"What? A new Attorney?" She nodded. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Mac felt threatened; another woman closing in on her territory. She wanted to order away her insecurities, but could not.  
  
"I don't see how?"  
  
"It's just, everything here has been so crazy lately. I don't know if we could survive breaking in a new recruit." She sat down as Harm stood behind his desk. He understood her hidden meaning.  
  
"We can get through anything, Mac." He reassured. He was silent for seconds, starring into her eyes before he added: "We already have." Peaceful silence filled the room as the two partners basked in a stolen, unconscious moment. There was a knock at the door. Harm blinked and looked up. The saturated air was sucked out.  
  
"Enter." He called.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"What's up Bud?"  
  
"Sorry to interrupt, but Ma'am, your phone has been ringing for the past five minutes." Bud smiled and knew that he had just intruded on something important. If Harriet knew, she would have killed him. However, Mac's phone would soon certainly disturb the Admiral. Bud had to decide the lesser of the two evils.  
  
" Thank you Bud." Mac stood and followed him out he door. She turned halfway through. "Have a good morning flyboy." She grinned, and with that she was gone.  
  
Harm heard the faint "Colonel MacKenzie" as Mac answered the phone. He picked up a pen and proceeded to jab it at his hand. *Never the right time* he thought to himself. He sat at his desk with a pen in has hand and Mac on his mind. His thoughts drifted back to Sydney. A night he would regret forever. Some thing had steered him away. Some thing always steered him away in those moments. A phone ringing, Jordan, Renee, Mic, flying, the list continued forever. Why? That was his one big question. For the life of him, he couldn't answer it.  
  
Mac desperately did not want to leave. She knew who was on the other line. Mic.  
  
"Colonel MacKenzie?" She barked into the receiver, thoughts still on Harm and eyes still lingering on his office door.  
  
"Hello Sarah." His voice was cheerful and abrupt compared to Harm's soft warm tone.  
  
"Mic..." She sighed  
  
"Do you have lunch plans? I thought we'd meet some where." She thought fast. She did not want to have lunch with him. She wanted lunch with Harm. She wanted Harm for lunch *STOP IT MARINE* She ordered when she heard her thought.  
  
"I'll have to take a rain check. I'm swamped here. I don't think I'll get time to go out." She tried to make herself sound regretful.  
  
"No worries, we'll do dinner."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Goodbye luv."  
  
"Bye Mic." She hung up the phone and threw a pencil she had been holding across the room, which hit Harm in the chest. He bent to pick it up, straightened, and tossed it back to her.  
  
"Why'd you lie to him?" He asked. Admitting he had overheard the conversation.  
  
"Don't know." Mac replied. "Guess I wasn't in the mood to spend lunch with him." She sat down. She heard the ding of the elevator, and noted that some one was approaching behind Harm.  
  
"Of course, " she said to herself. "He's in her office." She walked toward the door. "He's always in her office." Renee stood at the door and smiled. "Am I interrupting?" She asked. Harm jumped slightly, and turned around. "Renee?" He tried to remember if he had an appointment with her. "Hi" he added.  
  
"Hi yourself." She couldn't decide if she should be mad about the look of stupor on his face, or just to ignore it.  
  
"No." Mac answered her earlier question. "You aren't interrupting anything." *YES* she screamed in her head.  
  
"Mac." Renee greeted.  
  
"Hi, Renee." She said, faking a bright smile. Harm caught the edge in her voice. He gave her a pleading look.  
  
"We're done here Commander, aren't we?" *When all else fails, fall back on formality*  
  
"I believe so, Colonel. " He replied, and to Renee added: "Shall we?" He led her to his office. *Damn* Mac thought  
  
They entered his office and Renee planted a kiss on his cheek.  
  
"So, I thought we'd do lunch!" She said with a bright toothy smile.  
  
"It's ten in the morning Renee." Harm replied, a little bewildered.  
  
"I know, I stopped by to see if we could meet some where at lunch time."  
  
"You stopped by to see me to see if you could see me?" Harm questioned, eyebrows slightly raised.  
  
"I had a break from the commercial we're filming. I thought I'd get in some "us" time face to face." He nodded, and then she added: "Or maybe I shouldn't have." a little curtly.  
  
"No!" Harm caught himself. "It's great to see you. Unfortunately, I'm not going to have time for lunch today. Paper work is bogging me down until I can't see straight." He realized he was lying to her, just as Mac had done with Mic. *ah Mac* he thought to himself. *Stop it* he scolded. It wasn't a complete lie. He did have paper work, but he did plan on taking a lunch, just not with Renee.  
  
"Oh... okay." She was disappointed and semi-suspicious, but shook it off. "Well, then we're still on for tomorrow night?" Her grin was back  
  
"Yep!" He replied, faking enthusiasm. Renee left and he sat at his desk, a little confused.  
  
Thoughts filled his already overloaded head. Why had he done that? He loved Renee, right? His life seemed very wrong at that moment. He retraced his steps, trying to track the downhill jump his life had taken. It didn't take him long to find it. He left JAG to fly. That was it. He left the Admiral short handed, he'd left Jordan, and he'd left Mac, his best friend. He left her and she sought solace in Mic. It dawned on him, there as he sat starring at the air molecules in his office; it was his fault. He didn't like Brumby because he was a poor replacement for himself; both as a lawyer and for Mac. His leaving had eventually forced her into his arms. That revelation did not sit well in his stomach. He squirmed a little with discomfort.  
  
Mac sat in her office, and saw Renee leave, alone. Part of her felt responsible for Renee and Harm. He had returned to JAG and she had started seeing Mic. Therefore, Harm found a replacement *A pretty lousy one* she thought. "Unfortunately" she said allowed. " I don't have Harm's luck. He hates Mic, but as much as I tried, I can't truly dislike Renee. Except for the fact that she has possession of my Navy officer and not her own" Her eyes grew large. Did she just say that? There was a sound at her door and she looked up.  
  
"Harriet!" She said, wondering if she had heard her thinking.  
  
"Ma'am, do you have a minute?" Harried asked, taking a few steps into the office.  
  
"Sure Harriet, have a seat." Mac waved a hand. "What's up?" she asked after Harried had settled herself.  
  
"This is silly, but..."  
  
"Nonsense." Mac cut her off. "Spill." she demanded.  
  
"Well... I have been thinking, and I think that I want another baby!" The Lt. looked down at her hands in her lap.  
  
"That's great Harriet!" Mac noted the flicker in her eye. "But?" She prodded.  
  
"Well..." Harriet continued. "I know Bud wants more children, but I am not sure if it is too soon. Especially since after Sa…well you know."  
  
"You haven't asked him I assume?"  
  
"No, Ma'am"  
  
"Have you even discussed it recently?" Mac hurt for her friends. She knew how hard it had been for them losing baby Sarah.  
  
"No." Harriet replied, a little embarrassed.  
  
"You need to talk to Bud, Harriet. I'm sure if you talk this out, you'll decide what is best."  
  
"I know, I guess I just needed some one to tell me."  
  
"Do you want me to make it an order Lieutenant?" Mac asked, laughter playing on her words.  
  
"Not necessary Colonel."  
  
"Good, dismissed." Harried got up and left. Mac shuffled papers around and felt restless.  
  
Harm still sat in silence. There was a decision he needed to make. Was he ready for it? There was a knock on the doorframe.  
  
"Are you busy Commander?" Harm smiled at this.  
  
"No, what's up?" He asked looking at the dark eyed woman in front of him.  
  
"Lunch plans with Renee?" She asked, seating herself.  
  
"No actually." He replied.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I don't know." He was still unsure of that part.  
  
"Okay, well neither of us have plans, and I hate to eat alone, shall we order in?"  
  
"Now?" He asked. "It's ten in the morning."  
  
"Actually squid it's 1100 hours and twenty-eight seconds." He was shocked, he had sat lost in thought for two hours. He noticed her peering at him questioningly.  
  
"Harm?" He looked a little queasy.  
  
"Must have lost track of time."  
  
"That's why you have me!" She replied heading for the door.  
  
"I have you for lots of reasons." He said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear him. The room went dark, and everything disappeared; except for her. *Did I say that out loud* he wondered. Mac looked at him, wearing her Sarah face, not her Colonel face. Harm swiftly moved his eyes to meet Mac's stare. He had said it out loud, and she had heard. Time stopped, or it should have. The two of them were lost in one of their many moments. Both forgetting where they were. The phone rang. Just in time too. He was two seconds away from grabbing her into a kiss, right in the middle of his office, with the door open no less. He scrambled for the phone while Mac bent her head in an embarrassed smile.  
  
"Rabb!" He answered, and watched Mac turn and walk out. "Damn." he said. "Sorry. " he added into the phone. "Webb?" He asked. * Great * he thought. * Wonderful timing * Mac's figure disappeared around the corner, and he was finally able to concentrate on the call. "Can you what?" He spoke into the receiver. "You want to borrow my Corvette?" Harm asked confused. "Why the hell do you need my car?" There was a pause on the other line, and soon, Harm got the response he expected. "Of course it's top secret. Do you even know how to drive a clutch?" He asked a little nervous. "Web, no one borrows that car!" Harm listened to his CIA friend do everything but beg. "Fine." He finally said. " One scratch Webb, and I'll... I'll make the CIA pay for it!" Clayton Webb grinned on the line. "I'll meet you tonight at the garage." There was a fuzzy connection and Harm wondered where Webb was.  
  
The Admiral sat massaging his brow as he spoke to the SecNav. "Yes,Sir." His headache was growing with every word. "I'll see to it Sir. Yes, Sir, all right. Goodbye." He leaned back in his leather chair and pondered his conversation with theSecNav. There was a knock at his door. "Enter." He yelled. Commander Rabb opened the door. He stuck his head in  
  
Admiral, do you have a minute?"  
  
"What is it Commander?" Harm entered the office and stood in front of the Admiral's desk. AJ noticed the perplexed look on Harm's face.  
  
"Sir, have you heard form Clayton Webb lately?" Harm was still trying to understand his previous conversation and why he had said yes to Webb's request.  
  
"No." Answered AJ. "Why?"  
  
"Well Sir, I just got off the phone with him, and" He paused.  
  
"What did he want?"  
  
"To borrow my Vette Sir." AJ chuckled. The look on Harm's face was classic. It was a look of complete horror. "I was wondering if you knew what he was up to? Wen I asked him he obviously said it was classified."  
  
"Are you going to let him borrow your car?" The admiral was quite amused, but kept it to himself.  
  
"That's he problem Sir, I said yes and I don't know why."  
  
"Well, Commander, it's in his hands now. I don't know anything." Harm sighed. He had backed himself into a corner.  
  
"Thank you, Sir." He left the Admiral, and as soon as the door clicked shut, AJ laughed heartily at Harm's misfortune. 


	2. Hold On

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
  
  
Harm walked away from the Admirals office in a blur. He still couldn't figure this whole "Webb" situation out. And why the hell had he said yes? There was nothing he could do at that moment. He had no way to contact Webb, and if he did, Harm knew that he would not tell him anything. He continued walking, his head down in thought. Suddenly he saw shoes, but it was too late. He bumped directly into a not so amused Mac.  
  
"What are you doing Sailor?" Mac asked, a little annoyed.  
  
"Whoops. I obviously wasn't looking where I was going. "  
  
"What's got you all thought like Harm?"  
  
"I had a call from Webb about twenty minutes ago, and well I am still trying to figure it out."  
  
"What did he want?" Mac knew that anything having to do with Webb was never good. She couldn't count the times that she or Harm had almost died during one of Webb's "favors"  
  
"To borrow my car!" Harm shook his head. "And I said yes"  
  
"You said yes? Why?" That car was like his baby. He wouldn't let anyone touch it.  
  
"That is where the confusion sets in. I could very well have said no, but didn't."  
  
"Maybe you were curious."  
  
" I suppose, anyway nothing I can do about it now. I'm just going to try and forget about it until I see him tonight."  
  
"Do you want me to come with you? Some times I can be a little more persuasive then you!" She smiled, a little seductively. Harm beamed down at her. He knew Webb found it difficult to refuse Mac anything. And he definitely did not want his car going somewhere he didn't know.  
  
"That's a great idea. I told him I would meet him at the garage on my way home from work."  
  
"Well, I'll follow you there, and together we can get to the bottom of this." They had walked into the break room during that conversation. "So I didn't get an answer about lunch." Mac reminded him of her previous suggestion.  
  
"Right, I forgot sorry."  
  
"No problem. I could go pick some thing up."  
  
"Ha, not a good idea Mac, I don't trust you. We'll both go. I think I just want a salad anyway." Harm winked at her. She was used to his skepticism about her food habits.  
  
"Fine, let's go. I'm starved." Harm laughed at that as well. She was always hungry even after she had eaten, she could eat some more. He marveled at that. His appetite didn't even rival hers, and he was a man.  
  
Mic pulled into the lot, three cars down from Mac's corvette. He had a Beltway Burgers bag in his hand. He stood from his car and walked to the entrance of JAG headquarters. If Mac didn't have time to go out for lunch, he would bring it to her. He checked into the security station and got a visitors pass. He entered the bullpen and spotted Lt. Simm's right away.  
  
"Harriet?"  
  
"Hi Mic!" She exclaimed. Uh oh She thought. She had seen the Commander and Colonel leaving for lunch about ten minutes ago.  
  
"Have you seen Sarah?" He was excited about his idea of surprising her.  
  
"Um… I am not too sure, I think she is… well…" She stumbled through her explanation. Just then Bud entered the conversation.  
  
"Hello Mic." He looked at the bag in his hand. "Are you looking for Colonel MacKenzie?"  
  
"I am Bud, do you know where she is. Harriet is having some trouble telling me." Harriet tried to give a warning look to Bud, but he missed it.  
  
"I think I saw her and the Commander leaving about ten minutes ago." Bud answered Mic's question, completely unaware of the trouble he had begun.  
  
"Did you?" Mic asked, but knew the answer. Sarah had lied to him. How did she have time to go out with Harm, and not with him? He was getting sick of this. Harm was always in his way. What was it he had that kept Sarah so enthralled? He didn't know what to do about their relationship, and had always shaken it off. He boiled it down to partners that had been through a lot together. But lately, he had been noticing a little more between the two lawyers.  
  
"Would you like me to tell her you stopped by?" Bud asked, still oblivious. "Or you would you like to wait."  
  
"No thanks Lt. I'll see her tonight. Don't tell her I was here."  
  
"Okay Sir." Bud responded, still unable to stop the formality with Mic. After all, he had once been a Naval officer too. Mic departed, and was furious. But he had decided to wait until that evening. He would ask her how lunch was. He wondered if she would lie to him again.  
  
After Mic had entered the elevator, and it began its journey down, Harriet gave Bud a swift smack in the arm. "BUD!"  
  
"What?" He asked, a little wounded.  
  
"What in the hell did you do that for? You just started some thing that you very well should not have."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Bud was completely clueless, which frustrated Harriet even more.  
  
"You told him that the Colonel had left with the Commander!" Harriet could not believe how dense her husband could be at times.  
  
"I repeat, so?"  
  
"Argh, Bud! Forget it. I just hope it doesn't get back to her that it was you that told." Harriet stomped off, leaving Bud utterly confused, and a little hurt by her comments.  
  
"Harriet…" He called after her. She didn't even turn around. 


	3. Chain of Fools

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
Authors note: Sorry about the confusion. I couldn't remember what I downloaded chapter two as. I think I fixed it, and I hope what you read after this is Chapter three. Thanks for the heads up, and for the nice reviews.  
  
The Admiral heard Bud's call of distress towards his wife, and went to investigate.  
  
"Problem Lieutenant?" He asked gruffly. He didn't want to sound too concerned, he was their commanding officer, though their friend as well. Some times he found it hard to differentiate the two.  
  
"No Sir." Bud answered, straightening after hearing his CO's question.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Well Sir, I believe Harrie… I mean, Lt. Simm's is angry with me." Bud was still very confused. He had no idea what he had done wrong.  
  
"Why do you say that Lt.?" AJ prodded his officer.  
  
"I told Mic Brumby where the Colonel was, and Harriet hit me." Bud shook his head. "She hit me Sir."  
  
"And where is the Colonel?"  
  
"I believe she is at lunch with the Commander, Sir" Bud answered innocently. The Admiral sighed. He knew the problem. He was surprised that Bud did not understand his small infraction.  
  
"You told, Mic Brumby, the Colonels fiancé, that she was at lunch with Commander Rabb?"  
  
"Yes Sir."  
  
"I see." AJ had to admit that he saw the problem right away. Of course he pretended he had no idea about the chemistry between Harm and Mac, but he could see it. He thought every one could, except them of course. Apparently he was mistaken. Bud did not see it. Surprising, but obvious. "Lt?" He continued. " I believe you just added wood to an already growing fire." He looked at the confused lawyer, smirked a bit, and departed, leaving the Lieutenant still a little confused. "Think about it Lieutenant." The Admiral called back behind his shoulder.  
  
The elevator arrived at the correct floor and the Senior JAG officers exited. They walked to Mac's office and settled in. Neither of them noticed the looks they got from Harriet or Bud.  
  
"Happy?" Mac asked Harm, opening her bag of food.  
  
"Yes, I am Colonel thank you." Harm replied as he lifted the lid off of his salad and continued to pour dressing onto the greens. Harm had won out on carry out choices, meaning that Mac was not able to have her normal double cheeseburger with fries from Beltway Burgers. Instead Mac had to be content with a turkey sandwich with lots of mayonnaise, bacon, lettuce and Italian dressing from the deli they went to. She added potato chips to get in her daily starch. The two began to eat silently. Harm was definitely happy. He was spending time with the one he really wanted to, his Sarah. He didn't surprise himself by thinking that. He had always thought of her that way. Ever since the day they met. It began with the fact that she looked so much like Diane, and he never released that idea. Even with the knowledge of Mic. He didn't care; she was his Marine.  
  
Though Mac made a small scene about the food, she was happy too. She had no idea that Mic had realized her lie. She was perfectly content to sit in her office and eat with Harm sitting across from her. Even if they didn't talk, all she needed was his presence and she was happy. 'As long as I can smell him' she thought. Mac had just popped a chip into her mouth, purposely chewing it loudly so Harm would hear, when there was a soft knock at the door.  
  
"Enter." She called looking up, waiting for the visitor to show face. Harriet opened the door half way, squeezed in, and shut it.  
  
"I am sorry to interrupt you lunch Ma'am, Sir, but I think I should tell you some thing Colonel."  
  
"What is it Harriet?" Mac asked a little alarmed.  
  
"Is every thing okay Harriet?" Harm asked, concerned as well.  
  
"Yes Sir, I just thought the Colonel should know that Mic was here about twenty minutes ago. " Harriet saw the look of alarm on Mac's face. Harm swallowed hard, wondering what this would bring on him.  
  
"Are you sure, Lt." Mac asked.  
  
"Yes Ma'am I spoke with him myself. He was here to surprise you for lunch, and he asked where you were." Harriet replied, nervously.  
  
"Did you tell him?" Mac asked. '*Had she been caught*'  
  
"I didn't Ma'am, but Bud overheard the conversation and told Mic that you were at lunch with the Commander." Mac's mouth dropped. Bud told him. "I tried to stop him, but he didn't have any idea what he was doing. He still doesn't know."  
  
"It's okay Harriet. Thank you for telling me."  
  
"There is one more thing I think you should be aware of."  
  
"What's that?" Mac asked  
  
"He asked us not to tell you he dropped by. " Mac looked down at her sandwich, and then at Harm. "I didn't want you to be caught off guard Ma'am so I thought I'd let you know."  
  
"Thank you Harriet." Mac smiled. Harriet noticed her slightly drawn smile, and smiled back.  
  
"I just thought you should know." Harriet repeated, and left the office.  
  
"Are we in trouble?" Harm asked.  
  
"I don't know. I did lie to him this morning. But that was only because I really didn't want to have lunch with him." Mac sighed. She should have known this would turn complicated. It usually did. She always ended up paying for her selfish moments with Harm. She never seemed to learn her lesson.  
  
"Do you want me to leave so you can call him?" Harm asked, wishing she would say no.  
  
"No." She replied. "I don't have anything to say right now. And I think it was pretty malicious of him to ask Bud and Harriet not tell to me he was here. He obviously wants to test me." The two finished their lunch in silence, neither of them willing to admit the obvious. They couldn't get past "them." However, they couldn't find the courage to voice what was actually going on.  
  
Harriet exited the Colonels office and headed straight to the Admiral.  
  
"Tiner, is the Admiral in?" She asked the Petty Officer, stationed behind his desk.  
  
"Yes Ma'am, I'll buzz him for you." Tiner did just that, and the Admiral gave permission for Harriet to enter. She stepped inside the room, and stood at attention.  
  
"At ease Lieutenant." The Admiral said, looking up with a questioning look on his face. Harriet put her hands to her back and sighed. "What is it Lieutenant?"  
  
"Sir, I was wondering, I um… need your advice." Harriet felt rather embarrassed, but she did need his guidance in the specific matter.  
  
"Have a seat." He offered. She did so, and sat in silence, as the Admiral waited for her to speak. After about thirty seconds, he realized she wasn't going to.  
  
"How can I help you Harriet?" AJ asked, with a soft and easy tone.  
  
Bud saw his wife enter the Admirals office, and felt the need to follow. He knew, some how, that she was discussing him. But he left it alone, trusting Harriet to tell him when the time came. The afternoon progressed rather rapidly. Bud sat in his office preparing to prosecute a case against Commander Mottony. Harm waded through his paperwork, trying to lesson its volume, but not having much success. Mac typed up reports that were due to the Admiral in the morning. She had many things on her mind as well. With the events of the day, mainly her small indiscretion with Mic, she had forgotten her previous conversation with the Admiral. There was to be a new Officer working at JAG tomorrow. She was anxious for tomorrow to come. She wanted to size up the new officer. She usually knew within the first hour of meeting some one if she would like them. 


	4. Free To Decide

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
The sun was setting in the east, and Harm was just about to pack up his things and head home when Mac knocked on the door.  
  
"Ready?" She asked. He looked confused, but only for a moment. The memory dawned on him, and he shrugged.  
  
"I forgot, wonder how that happened? Yeah, sure lets go." The two officers walked out of their work building and stood next to their cars. The night air was heavy with D.C. humidity. There was a slight breeze from the South, and the clouds, looking like silver slivers, lined the sky.  
  
"I'll follow you." Mac said, getting into her corvette. '*I'm glad Webb didn't want to borrow my car*' she thought. She started the car and the engine hummed with anticipation of being driven. Harm nodded and stepped up into his SUV. He liked it well enough, but it was no sports car. He remembered the day his car had been stolen and stripped. He bought the Lexus on a spur of the moment, and the very next day, Mac had pulled into work driving her very own Corvette. He smiled at the memory. She had looked like a little girl in a candy shop driving that speed demon.  
  
They inched their way through the restricted areas and found themselves on the high way. Harm was trying not to imagine all the things Webb could do in his car, that he prefer him not to. It was a nightmare. Yet some how, he had to know what Webb was up to.  
  
Harm stood at the garage that housed his corvette. Mac stood, arms crossed, beside him. Harm sighed loudly, making his feelings quite clear. Mac knew that Harm was feeling a little anxious, but personally she felt right where she belonged: next to him.  
  
"He's the one who needs the favor, you'd figure him to be on time." Harm leaned a shoulder on the garage door. "I should leave right now."  
  
"Maybe he got stuck in traffic." Mac offered helplessly.  
  
"When was the last time Webb used the excuse caught in traffic?" Harm snorted. Mac moved next to her car and leaned on the bumper.  
  
"My feet are killing me." She said, taking her shoe off and balancing her left foot on her right knee and massaging it. Harm grinned at her. "What?" She asked, seeing his look.  
  
"A good man, kids, and lots of comfortable shoes." Harm repeated Mac's simple life wants. "Well you have one of the three."  
  
"I, unfortunately, don't have comfortable shoes." She argued.  
  
"Yeah but you found your good man." Harm reminded her. Mac sighed at this. Had she really? Wasn't her "good man" leaning against a garage door at that moment? No, it was Mic, her fiancé.  
  
"Mic, Mac." Harm spoke into her thoughts.  
  
"I know!" Mac defended her pause. The two JAG Officers had waited twenty-six minutes and thirty-seven seconds according to Mac. They were just about to leave, which didn't disappoint Harm, when they spotted headlights coming towards them.  
  
"Sorry I'm late; stuck in traffic." Clayton Webb offered an excuse. Mac smiled "Colonel MacKenzie!" Webb added enthusiastically.  
  
"Never mind Webb." Harm demanded. "Why in the hell do you need my car? You better start convincing me because I basically changed my mind standing here waiting for you." Harm interrupted their exchange.  
  
"Harm, you know I can't tell you!"  
  
"WEBB!" Harm said, eyes widening in the beginning of fury. Mac loved to watch Harm in this state. He was so persuasive. However, she knew this attitude would do him no good, nor get him the information he sought.  
  
"Clay…" Mac began, interrupting Harm's prosecutor mode. "It would put the Commanders mind at ease if he had a slight idea of what you were planning to do with his car. After all, she's his baby." Mac had sidled up to Webb, almost batting her lashes, but deciding against it. That was coming on too strong.  
  
"I can't. I…" Webb stuttered.  
  
"Just a hint?" Mac begged. Harm had calmed down and stood back to watch the master at work. '*She is amazing*' he thought. '*Stay focused*' He reminded himself.  
  
"Fine." Webb gave in, knowing he wouldn't get out of this without some sort of information. "It's not exciting."  
  
"Maybe not for you!" Harm said. "It's not your car!"  
  
"I need it for a stake-out. Now that's all I can say."  
  
"What in the hell do you need at 1965 Corvette Convertible in a stake- out for?" Harm demanded. Mac had stepped back. She pat Harm on the arm, signaling him that she had it under control. Basically telling him to back off.  
  
"Webb." Mac said quietly. That was all she needed.  
  
"I have to go to a car show, on a stake-out. I will be going undercover, now I know that sounds stupid, but it isn't, and when it is all done, I will explain everything. I promise Harm." Webb took a breath after his explanation. Harm didn't move. Mac turned to face harm and shrugged a shoulder. "Good enough?" She mouthed to him. Harm nodded slightly.  
  
"Okay Webb." Harm unlocked the garage door, and pushed it aside, revealing his corvette inside. "You can take her, but as I said, one scratch and not only will I make the CIA pay for it, I'll make you fix her by hand."  
  
"I get the picture. Thanks Harm." He moved passed him and was standing next to the car door. "I don't have a lot of time." Harm tossed him the keys from where he stood. Webb got in started the engine, backed out, and with a wave was gone into the night. Harm stood silently for a moment. Reflecting on his decision, and somewhere deep inside he had a bad feeling about the whole matter. Mac looked sympathetically at her partner.  
  
"Come on Harm I'll buy you a drink." She grabbed his arm and led him to his SUV.  
  
"Your on," was all he could say.  
  
Mic paced Sarah's apartment floor. Where was she? He checked his watch. He had been waiting for her for two hours. He didn't want to worry about her, especially since he was angry with her. But he couldn't help the feeling of dread he felt in the pit of his stomach. All sorts of different scenarios played through his mind as waited. He had been waiting for two hours, and finally decided to call her.  
  
Mac sat at a table at McMurphy's with Harm, sipping her diet coke. She had been trying to cheer him up for the past forty-three minutes. It worked to a certain extent. He was more relaxed. But that could have been due to having a couple of beers in him.  
  
"Thanks Mac." Harm simply said.  
  
"What are friends for?" Mac smiled. Friends, was that all they were? That is all they could be. She was engaged to a different man. Her head was spinning. She knew she loved Mic, but she started to wonder if she was IN love with him. He didn't understand her very well. Harm knew her better then anyone, and could some times read her mind. She sighed. Harm heard this, and looked deeply into her eyes.  
  
"Mac?" He asked. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Huh?" She hadn't realized her sigh had been heard. "Nothing really."  
  
"Talk to me here. Are you sure?"  
  
"I was just thinking. We've been through a lot together haven't we?"  
  
"We sure have. And then some!"  
  
"Ever wonder how we made it through?" She asked, a little desperately.  
  
"No" He answered seriously. "Never."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because we had each other."  
  
"Had?" She asked, eyes growing soft.  
  
"Do we still have each other Mac?" Harm whispered almost inaudibly.  
  
"I…" Mac began just as her cell phone rang. She cursed herself for not turning it off.  
  
"MacKenzie?" She answered.  
  
"Where are you?" Came the question from the other end of the phone.  
  
"Mic?"  
  
"Yeah it's me, I have been worried sick, where are you?"  
  
"I'm at the bar. Worried?" She screwed up her face in a confused, and semi annoyed manner.  
  
"Did you forget we have dinner plans tonight?" Mic felt as though he had been stabbed through the heart with a dart. He felt betrayed. She had forgotten him, again.  
  
"Oh, Mic, I completely forgot. I'm so sorry. I'll be right home." She hung up her phone and looked at Harm. "Gotta go." She said, but she was sad. She didn't want to leave him. "Are you going to be okay?"  
  
"Of course! Go Mac." Harm replied, playing the supportive best friend. "Go to Brumby." He hated himself for saying that. And did that man have the worst timing or what?  
  
"See you tomorrow." Mac stated, and was out the door.  
  
"Yeah, see you tomorrow." Harm whispered. '*Damnit*' 


	5. Need To Know

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended.  
  
Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
watched her figure disappear through the door before he even thought about going home. It had been a long, and strange day for him. He felt out of place in his life. He couldn't quite get a handle on every thing that seemed to be happening at once. He knew that he couldn't control the car situation, and that it was out of his hands until Webb returned. He suddenly realized that Webb didn't say when he would return it. That worried him even more, but he couldn't do any thing about it. He grabbed his coat and walked out of the bar to his Lexus, and drove straight home. He entered his apartment and stood in the middle of the living area. He looked around, the kitchen, the entrance to his bedroom, and the couch. Suddenly the whole room was filled with memories of Mac.  
  
"Commander Rabb!" She stalked toward him. "How dare you do that to me. You sandbagged me."  
  
"Hi Mac."  
  
"You did that on purpose." He looked so smug with that smirk on his face and the cigar in his mouth.  
  
"It's just a case Mac, I'll buy you lunch."  
  
"So what, you can stick to me in the court room but out here we are supposed to be friends?" She was furious.  
  
"Yes." He replied simply.  
  
"I don't play that way Commander." She stormed off, leaving the Commander and Bud to wonder after her. She got over her anger and was soon apologizing with dinner.  
  
Harm smiled at the recollection. He had been redoing his apartment at the time. Mac brought and apology dinner over. "The only place that is free is the bedroom." He said, wearily, wondering if he was going to witness her temper again.  
  
"Works for me." She said, with a smile. Harm looked towards the couch, and the window beside it.  
  
It was raining, pouring actually, and the lighting lit up the apartment like the sun. He stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching her, wrapped up in a blanket, starring out at the wet world. He heard her sniffle. Immediately he went over to her.  
  
"What's wrong Mac?" He asked, concern in his eyes.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it." She shot him down. It was chilly in the apartment, so late at night. Harm had on only boxers, but he was willing to be cold and sleep deprived to help her.  
  
"Okay." He said and began to walk away.  
  
"It just seems like every man in my life ends up dead." Mac said, obviously wanting to talk about it. He could hear the sorrow in her voice and the vulnerability. He walked towards her to comfort her. Tears were streaming down her face.  
  
"Hey." He said, as he whipped them away with his thumb.  
  
The memory brought back a lot of emotions. That was on of the first times that she had really opened up to him. Harm finally moved, and sat on the leather couch. He was starting to realize what was going on with him, why everything seemed so wrong. He knew he cared about her, he knew he was attracted to her, but he seemed to push back the scariest feeling. He was in love with her.  
  
Mac scrambled into her apartment and was met by a very upset Australian. He was sitting on the couch, waiting for her. She could see the anger, and hurt on his face. He was stiff, and ready to bit.  
  
"I'm so sorry Mic, I did forget. I admit to that." She stood in front of him, her eyes pleading with him.  
  
"Where you with Harm?" He asked, tensely. He had to know. He couldn't understand why he let this happen to him over and over again with them. Why he thought he could come in the middle. But at first, he wasn't threatened. He thought he could save Sarah. Save her from her job, and her heartache, make her feel like a woman. He wondered why she even bothered letting him into her life. He knew the answer to that question. Sarah had no idea that she and Harm were silently carrying on a though afar.  
  
"Yes." She said simply. "We had to meet Webb."  
  
"Oh great." He said, jealously obvious in his tone.  
  
"Mic, I am really sorry. I am." She sat down beside him, and put her hand on his. "Please." Why was she begging him? '*Because you love him*' She said to herself. '*Because you hate it when he is upset*' "What can I do?"  
  
"And how about lunch this afternoon?" He asked, not letting her get out of it. "You must be hungry." Mac knew immediately what he was trying to do.  
  
"Actually I found a break." She said, trying to ease his anger. Angry men frightened her. She didn't totally trust them. Even if this man was her fiancé. "So, Harm and I got some take out from a deli down the street." She sighed. This was going to take all night.  
  
"A break?" He asked. "A break?" He repeated. "How convenient, at the same time as Harm."  
  
"Mic what are you getting at?" Mac asked, becoming upset as well.  
  
"Ah Sarah, just tell me the truth." He insisted.  
  
"And what truth am I not telling you?" She asked.  
  
"Are you in love with Harm?" He was afraid of her answer but had to know. He had to know if this relationship were to go on.  
  
"What?" She was stunned. She thought about Harm a lot, but she never thought she was in love with him. She was too angry to think straight. "How can you ask me that? Whose ring is this on my figure? Yours!"  
  
"Maybe because I got to you first." Mic suddenly felt very stupid. Mac stood up and walked across the room.  
  
"How dare you accuse me off that, Mic." She was pacing. "Harm and I have been through a lot together, we have known each other for a long time. We have saved each other's lives. Of course I care for him. But love? Yes I suppose I love him, he is my best friend." Mic saw the fury in her eyes, and wished to God he could take back his last question.  
  
"I'm sorry Sarah." He moved towards her. "I should have just let it go."  
  
"Damn right you should have."  
  
"Sarah, can we just boil it down to nerves?" Mic asked, chiding himself for his mistake. Mac sighed. She was upset at his accusations, but also knew that she had lied to him about lunch.  
  
"This is a little ridiculous. But I have one question?"  
  
"Ask away luv."  
  
"How long is my relationship with the Commander going keep causing us problems?" She was deadly serious, and tired of the run around. It was an old problem and she wanted to nip it in the bud.  
  
"What can I say, I just don't want to lose you."  
  
"I know." She replied. "I'm starved." She changed the subject, tired of arguing about the same thing. Mic laughed, and proceeded to go to the kitchen to warm up the food that had gotten cold.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
"Hello?" He asked, raspy voiced. "Hey Renee!" He stood from the couch and went to the refrigerator to get a drink. "No, just a long day." There was a pause. "Yes, we are still on for tomorrow night." He returned with his drink to the couch, and squashed all thoughts of Mac, as he spoke to his current girlfriend. "Not tonight Renee. I'm too tired." He really was. He was going to bed as soon as he had eaten. His early morning had not only thrown his whole routine off, but he was also tired too early. He had decided to go back to his regular schedule of being late. "Goodnight Renee." He hung up the phone.  
  
Mac climbed into bed next to Mic and made sure her alarm was set for the right time. He leaned over and kissed her cheek.  
  
"Goodnight Sarah. All is forgiven?" He was still nervous about their previous argument. Mac smiled slightly, she hadn't forgotten, but was ready to move on.  
  
"Yes, forgiven, and I am very tired." She rolled over, her back facing Mic and proceeded to try to sleep. Mic got the hint, and did the same. 


	6. Only One

Disclaimer: I don't own JAG, or the Characters. No infringement intended. Spoilers: Boomerang II, and others I'm sure, though I don't know specifically.  
  
Harriet arrived at home about half an hour after her husband. She had little AJ asleep on her arm when she walked into the small apartment. Bud sat reading files on the couch, and looked up when his wife entered. "Hi honey." He said, getting up. "AJ asleep?" "Yeah, he conked out as soon as I put him in his car seat." Harriet set her purse down on the side table and took her load into the bedroom. Bud followed her. She lay AJ down in his big boy bed, kissed him goodnight and left the room. Bud stayed, watching his son sleep for a moment, and then did the same. "Honey?" Harriet was already getting ready for bed. All she really wanted to do was curl up with her husband and watch a movie, but she knew she needed to talk to him. She turned around when Bud called to her. "Yes Bud?" "You're not mad at me about his afternoon are you?" The Admiral had made him realize his mistake. "About me telling Mic where the Colonel was." "No Bud, I just wish you had thought before you spoke." "I don't understand. She's engaged to him, why should he care where she was." "I 'accidentally ' overheard the Colonel talking to him this morning. She told him she wasn't planning on taking a lunch. Besides, the tension between the three of them is enough to make one sick." Harriet finished her small speech and perched herself on the bed. "But there is some thing I want to talk to you about." "Does this have anything to do with what you were talking to the Admiral about this afternoon?" Bud asked, he thought it was the right time to bring that up. Besides, he didn't have to ask. He already knew the answer. "Yes. And.well. I have been thinking Bud." Harriet stopped and looked away for a moment. " I spoke with the Colonel and the Admiral first, wanting advice on how to approach this with you." "Honey, what is it? You know you can tell me anything." "How do you feel about a bigger family?" She asked, smiling shyly. **************************************************************************** *** She stood, her feet buried in the sand, looking out at the crashing waves. They invaded the shore like a ravenous bird, swooping in and rushing back. Her white spring wedding dress danced about her ankles. She was happy. The breeze, smelling of salt and flowers, tossed her hair in all different directions. The sand was warm after a long day of basking in the sun. "Feels like heaven." She said quietly. Seagulls plunged head first toward the ocean water, and dived back toward the sky. She watched the birds play, carelessly. Wishing she could join the game. In the distance she saw white chairs, and a white satin aisle that lead to a make shift alter with white and violet lilies placed strategically. It was her day. She was ready. Some one handed her bouquet of lilies, and gave her a small push towards the aisle. The music began, soft and warm like the sun. She walked down the aisle towards the man she loved with such glee and exuberance. The sun was setting and the sky was stabbed with warm colors of red, violet, orange and yellow. She approached, and the man turned to greet her. Mic was dressed in his Australian Navy dress whites, and he grinned at her. She came to her final stop and stood waiting for the minister to begin. There were faceless people in the crowd, and the minister himself was faceless. The only person she could see was Mic. She breathed a sigh of contentment. "Do you Harmon take Sarah to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad as long as you both shall live?" Mac's eyes popped open. Harm? She looked at the man in front of her. He was no longer Mic, but Harmon Rabb Jr. She was shocked, but only for a second. "I do!" He said with tears in his eyes and love in his heart. "And do you Sarah take Harmon to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health in good times and in bad, as long as you both shall live?" She didn't skip a beat. "I do!" She replied, triumphantly. She was grinning from ear to ear. It could not have been more perfect. "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss each other." Harm pulled her up toward him, and she followed his movements. His lips hit hers, and the world disappeared. There was no sky. There was no sun. There was no sand. There were no birds or water. There was only Harm and Sarah, tied together, at last, in marriage. Her heart soared as she kissed her husband.  
  
Mac's eyes shot open. "Not again." She moaned. The room was still fairly dark. The smallest trace of dawn was visible through her window. Mic was sound asleep, breathing heavily. She rolled over on to her side and starred at the shaded window. "Why." She asked the quiet empty room. She realized that she needed to get herself together before she made a mistake. She had to know what was up with her and Harm. Only, she didn't know how to do it. She didn't even know how to think about doing it. All she could see was gray areas. Their entire relationship was gray. There was no black and white it wasn't that simple.  
  
Harm threw back the blankets and sat up abruptly. Sleep was a mystery to him. He could not have been more tired, and he could not have been more awake. He thrashed about in bed until he found a comfortable spot. This, however, only lasted a couple of minutes, and he was again, rolling around to find a comfort zone. "What the hell is wrong with me?" His voice sounded loud and compared to the quiet early morning. He laid his head back on the pillow starring up at the ceiling. The ceiling that he knew very well, every inch, every crack, every paint drop, he now knew exactly where to find them. It seemed to him that there was no time. It was that time of the morning that didn't feel real. He wondered if he actually were asleep, just dreaming his endless night. His revelation earlier that evening was of main topic in his over active head. He was in love with Mac. He knew he loved her. She was his best friend. But finally realizing that the feeling in the pit of his stomach, whenever she was around, was love, that was priceless. He wondered how long this had been going on. When did it first happen? He knew she was special from the beginning, of course. For the first couple of months all he could see was Diane. Obviously that affected his feelings for her. But after that, he saw her as Mac, a tough and loveable Marine, who took nothing from nobody, and wanted everything from some body. He ran his hand through his disheveled hair and scrunched up his face in thought. He had to wonder if this was just sleep-deprived babble. And what about Renee? Wasn't he in love with her? No. "NO?" He asked himself. What in the hell was wrong with him? He looked around for some kind of clue that this was a dream. "Ow!" He yelled. He pinched himself, and it had hurt. "Well damnit!" he exclaimed. "This just isn't fair. I doubt Mac is up all night struggling with the revelation of loving ME!" He rolled over, for the thousandth time it seemed, and punched his hand into his pillow. "Nope, she's at home, in bed, sleeping next to Mic, her fiancé." Why was she getting married? He couldn't really figure it out. It didn't make sense to him. And to Brumby no less! For the third time that day, the world was very wrong.  
  
There it was, a barrier. It stood in front of her, blocking her way. The way barriers often do. She tapped her foot softly on the wooden floor. What was she doing? Was she crazy? But she had to know didn't she? She could not spend another night this way. Who was it that said; "All You Need is Love?" "The Beatles" She reminded herself. "Looks like I have too much of it right now." She had gone this far. May as well finish the race and see where she ends up. Mac lifted her hand and touched the barrier. "Just knock, Marine!" She scolded her nervous hand. The noise was shockingly loud, and it almost scared her away, but she stood strong.  
  
Harm had finally conceded to the fact he was not going to get any sleep. He lay, starring at the clock, willing it to move faster. There wasn't much he could do. "Run!" He said to himself. That was a great idea. Clear his head, work his already dead tired body? "Bad idea." He was barely going to be able to get through work. There was a noise, a loud one. It hadn't come from him. Is that the door? He wondered. The clock still said 0412 like it had for the past forty-five seconds. He decided to investigate, nothing better to do. He plopped his feet on the ground and grabbed a white shirt, pulling it over his head as he shuffled to the door. He got to the door. He stood, listening carefully. He thought he heard breathing, but couldn't be sure. He unlocked the door and carefully pulled it open. It took him a while to focus on the scene in front of him, but once it registered to his brain, he allowed his mouth to drop. "Hi." She said. "Hi." He replied. She stood there looking at him. He stood there looking at her. Neither moved, just stood, in silence. Mac had decided that she was going to walk away, and was shocked when the door opened. What did she expect? Harm finally moved out of the way, and without speaking, made room for her to enter. She walked past him, still in a daze. What had she done this for? She couldn't remember. Then she looked up at his face, and a flash of her dream hit her. Oh yeah. That was why. He had obviously been in bed, like everyone else in there right minds, unlike her. She stood quietly, looking at the couch. He still had the door opened. He didn't understand what was going on. His hand was on the handle, but for some reason he couldn't remember if he was opening or closing the door. He figured he must have been in shock. '*What is she doing here*' he thought. He was really, really confused, and hated to be confused. "Harm?" She asked quietly. "Huh?" Came the response out of his mouth. "Close the door." "Oh." He did so, and it shut with a click. That click, however, seemed to bring him out of his confused state, at least enough for him to speak. "What are you doing here Mac?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and proceeded to stare at her. "I um.I really don't know for sure. I thought once I was here I would have that answer, but I'm speechless." She was, she felt like an idiot standing there in his apartment, at 0422 in the morning! "I'm sorry. I should go." She took a step toward the door. "Ok." He became confused again. "Wait." There was some thing in the back of his mind that was trying to come out in words. "Stay Mac, you obviously had some thing to say." He smiled then, not like he had anything else to do, like sleep. Oh right, he couldn't. 


End file.
